What is EMDR Therapy and Why Do You Use It?

EMDR is an evidence-based technique to help you process through painful beliefs, memories, and trauma. Here's how I explain it to my clients:

Imagine your brain is like a big library. In the middle of the library, there is a long table with little librarians sorting books. This table is called your Working Memory. One day, a weird, warped blob is plopped on the Working Memory table. The little librarians don't know where or how to file this blob, so it just sits there. The little librarians keep sorting books, and every once in a while (or frequently) one of them will say "oh! This reminds me of this part of the weird blob! Do they go together?" and they pull the blob over and try to sort it again. It doesn’t quite fit, so they little librarian leaves it on the table. A little bit a later, another librarian repeats the same thing ("Does it fit together? Kind of… but the blob doesn’t get filed with this. Better leave it on the table!”) In your brain, the memory-blob comes up over and over, seemingly out of the blue.

EMDR helps those little librarians file the blob away. It helps you take apart the memory/belief and carefully catalog it so it doesn't have to sit in your Working Memory all the time. If this explanation doesn’t fit for you, here’s a video that explains it a little differently.

In session, EMDR looks like this:

• The first few sessions, I collect information about the experiences you want to work through. I also teach you some coping skills so you can regulate big emotions that arise during the process.

• In between sessions, you practice using the coping skills in order to strengthen them. You also take note of any situations that cause distress so we can work on those, too.

• Once we are ready to reprocess, we will use “tappers”. They are small, vibrating tokens that you hold in your hands (if we are meeting via telehealth, I will instruct you on how to tap your shoulders to achieve the same effect— many of my clients have used EMDR remotely with great success!). Together, we go through the emotions, body sensations, beliefs, and images that arise with the distressing memory.

• This part looks different for everyone— some people feel a shift in emotions, some people feel body distress decrease, some people have adaptive thoughts, and some people have all of these things. Whatever happens, the distress decreases. The memories are still sad, but the no longer feel like a gut punch.

• Finally, we create new beliefs and stories you want to carry with you into future difficult experiences.

I use EMDR to help clients process traumatic birth experiences, sexual trauma, childhood trauma, and more. Feel free to schedule a 15 consultation to see if EMDR is the right fit for you!

Why Do I Need Therapy when Self-Help Books Exist?

“I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you.”

So goes my favorite line from the movie Knives Out (I’m a big mystery fan, by the way). I love the line because it rings so true to me. So often I see the headlines. I “like” the instagram post. I read the first chapter in the self-help book. I know it’s not just me because my client’s do it, too.

Instagram is great for tips. TikTok is fun for memes. Pinterest is useful for inspiration.

But transformation? Growth that goes longer than the time it takes to put down your phone? That’s what happens in therapy.

Therapy is transformative because of the healing that happens in our relationship. Yes, we talk about skills and thinking patterns, but it runs much deeper than that. In therapy, you are truly seen.

It’s a relationship—and if your pains and traumas happen in relationships, doesn’t it make sense that the healing happens in a therapeutic relationship? The research backs this up, too. 

When we meet, I’m offering more than my expertise of your symptoms. I’m inviting you to a place where you are truly cared for, challenged, and changed. It’s a space like no other, and it’s why I love what I do. 

If you want to try it for yourself, schedule a consultation with me here.

Creativity As a Part of Therapy

“Once you start making something with your hands, the healing starts.” -Betye Saar

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“Take a breath, let it go. What are you noticing now?” Sitting on my couch, I slowly too a breath and opened my eyes. I was in an EMDR therapy session, but this time I was the client. We were reprocessing the traumatic birth of my son. My therapist and I met virtually, but I still felt her calm presence and the EMDR still worked.

“I want to believe I did a beautiful job,” I said, responding to her question. “I want to feel proud of my birth.”

Using EMDR helped me overcome my birth trauma. It truly allowed me to go into another pregnancy with no fear. I see the power of it all the time in my job. But I took EMDR a step further.

Right after that session, I hopped online and searched for an embroidery kit. I had never embroidered before, but some part of me told me I needed to do this project. I scrolled through countless kits until I found the one: a yellow flower bending gently over a smaller yellow flower— its perfect copy but in miniature. To me, the smaller looked as if it had just been plucked from the larger. A baby that had just been pulled from its mother’s womb. I ordered the kit right away.

Over the next week, I embroidered those flowers. I thought of the birth of my son. I unpicked my mistakes. I created a beautiful piece, and in so doing I made my birth beautiful. I released the trauma. Those embroidered flowers now sit in my therapy office, a reminder of the power of creation.

I am a talk therapist— I use conversations and questions to help you heal. To deepen this process, my clients and I often integrate crafting as we talk. This is not art therapy; it is creativity-assisted talk therapy. Is crafting therapy? Not by itself. But with tried and true techniques, it is transformational.

In my own therapy journey, I noticed that I naturally wove crafting into my healing. To process miscarriage, I collaged a womb. To grow self compassion, I needle-felted a bunny. By creating something new, I unlocked a new way to view my old stories. 

We use creation as an avenue to healing. 

Bring your crochet, your calligraphy, your crafting. Don’t know what medium you want to use? Bring your yearning to create, and we’ll start with that. 

— — —

Working with your hands doesn’t call to you? No worries— our time together can look however you want to look. 

Behind the Name “Terracotta.”

There is a unique pain in selecting a name for your therapy practice. You want it to capture the growth, healing, and transformation you hope to facilitate. You want it to say something about you. You want clients to see it and say “Yes! That’s the place for me!”

So you try out a bunch of phrases that have something to do with nature. Roots? Branches? Butterfly? Then you switch to warm and fuzzy words. Connection? Authenticity? Joy? You whisper a bunch of word combinations to try them out and text nonsensical options to your spouse.

At least, that’s what I did. I remember sitting in my bedroom, overwhelmed by the whole process. I was overthinking things. How could I encapsulate all I wanted to say in just a word or two? In exasperation, I cast aside my laptop and glared at my wall. My terracotta-colored wall. Terracotta. I pulled the laptop back onto my lap and set off on a deep dive to learn about terracotta.

Turns out, the perfect name had been staring me right in the face.

———

“Terracotta” translates to “baked earth.” It comes from the ground and is made beautiful through heat. Its unglazed, rusty red coloring speaks of warmth and authenticity. The surface is porous, allowing it to transmit life-giving water. It is raw, useful, and graceful all at once. 

That’s what being a woman and a mother is for me: natural, painful, warm, authentic, life-giving, useful, graceful. 

So often we lose our connection to ourselves. We expect to be someone or something different. A large part of our work together in therapy is helping you see what’s covering up your true self and identifying the you that is natural. Warm. Life-giving. Graceful. Terracotta.